Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
