you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
