ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize