I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
