i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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