I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I need a burrito and a hug.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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