i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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