omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
