Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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