This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
this just has baby written all over it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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