So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just threw up on my dentist
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
