He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize