If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
