So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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