the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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