Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
