I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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