Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
