lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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