is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
