you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
