please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
