He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
