Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
