I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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