She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
