Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
