Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
