Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
