He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
