Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
