Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
