I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
