Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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