u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
