So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
