my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
