Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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