I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
