I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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