atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
