You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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