The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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