So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
