The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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