just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
