There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
