You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize