I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
