He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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