party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
