He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
