we made out on top of his cat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
