Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
