Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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