Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
