No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think your dad took our porno
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
