with your own penis?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize