just tell him i said nine months
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
