either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
